I wanted to write a quick post this morning and attach my latest YouTube video which I recorded earlier this week.
To be completely honest, I really don't enjoy the process of putting myself in front of the camera at all! - I would much rather sit behind the safety of my laptop thrashing out words as I am now - but, as I am finding out - writing alone isn't enough if you want to get a publishing contract...!
Sounds ridiculous but it's true!
So I am now selling my soul on social media and uploading videos to YouTube...
Please, please help me to reach more people by sharing everything because my book can't reach people until I get an agent/publisher and that won't happen unless I have followers.
I have to say that the whole publishing thing is WRONG.
Books should be being accepted on the merits of the story and the writing, NOT on whether or not you have 1.5 M Instagram followers or not....
I pointed this out to my young editor friend this week, but he said:
"Tom, people used to write on slate and send notes by carrier pigeon, but times have moved on - you are going to have to do all of this if you want to get published!"
So, on we go!
Relationships and trauma
I don't want to give anything away as I've explained all in the video, but relationships with others are so often at the root of all suffering and, if I'm completely honest, at the epicentre of all mental illness.
If therapists bothered to work closely enough with their patients this would be patently obvious every time.
The problem is that when you are ill with depression and other crippling disorders it is impossible to see any of this clearly.
Anyway, my amazing new editor friend and I came up with the flow chart (posted above) to illustrate how this pattern is so often created.
In short, there is an initial trauma which creates a fracture in the mind. Subsequent relationship breakdowns then reopen the fracture again and again and pour more toxins into the wound.
I see this pattern again and again yet not one 'professional' has ever identified it in twenty years of my illness.
I have literally unpicked the whole thing AND analysed it for everyone else - will you please please publish my book - the frustration here is PALPABLE!!
AAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Sleep bipolar brain sleep... shhhhhhhh
But, the most annoying (and perturbing) thing about all of this social media and YouTubing that I'm having to do, is that it seems to have affected my sleep.
This is what I was worried about from the very beginning - I knew that doing too much would knock my ridiculously sensitive bipolar brain off kilter and that's why I wrote everything down...
Writing is my therapy... making YouTube videos and posting on social media is hideous and stressful and doesn't do me any favours at all...
But seeing as not one literary agent will help me I am having to risk my health in order to get this story out there.
It is not ideal (it's FAR FROM IDEAL!) and there have been numerous times recently that I've almost decided to quit the ambition to publish entirely.
Anyway, I am sleeping for about 5 to 6 hours at the moment but then I'm having to have a nap in the day. If I don't do this then the brain is seriously compromised and there is a risk of relapse into either depression (which I could never survive again) or mania (which none of us could survive again)... so I need to be very careful...
Would a literary agent/publisher please appear and fast so that I can relax?
Please please. I have done so so much and I need to be able to rest.
I honestly don't know what to do at this juncture. I'm just going to have to be very careful and be the expert of myself as always.
Anyway, I've rambled enough for one sleep deprived day ... so here is this week's video - Are Relationships at the Root Cause of All Mental Suffering?
I've already had some lovely messages from people with one saying:
"Your video helped me more than the multiple therapy sessions I've had. Honestly it made so much sense to me!"
So, I think I must continue!
Hope you enjoy the video and find it useful. Please as ever, share, like, subscribe and follow!
It is the only way my words will ever reach people!
Thanks for reading,
Speak to you soon,
TR
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